My problem is that I try to do too much. I bite off more than I can chew, and then I’m left with a mouth full of mess that I can’t swallow. And I feel like choking and gagging and everything else that goes with an over-stuffed mouth.
But…. there is just so much I want to do. And then there are the things I need to do.
I want to write stories and dream and play pretend in my head all day. I want to make crafts and beautify my house (Pinterest does not help this desire). I want to spend lots and lots of time with my husband because he’s just that amazing and fun. I want to plan adventures and have that spur-of-the-moment picnic in the park. I want to learn new things such as languages and graphic design and painting and skiing and other things that will help me at work and provide more fun.
But, I have to work. I have to go to this full-time job, which I love, but it’s not my great career dream (I want to be home writing intriguing stories and marketing myself as an author). I have to commute to work, which consists of a train and a bus one way and a bus and a car ride the way back. I have to clean my house and wash the dishes and do the laundry. I have to work with the time I’m given because there isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish everything.
Maybe you can see where I’ve overwhelmed myself. Although I haven’t taken up skiing or painting lessons, I have cluttered my life with a few things that have become too much. Now I have to take the time to simplify, which, really, is a good thing.
For me, this means going back to my dreams and remembering something my mom told me a few years ago.
I’ll tell you the story.
A few years ago, I was thinking pretty hard about going back to get my M.A. degree in marketing. This really does make sense because I work in marketing and have for over five years. In this decision, I wasn’t thinking about dreams or passions, I was thinking about how an M.A. degree would make me more marketable and give my resume more leverage.
My mom, knowing that my dream and passion has been writing since I was a little girl–grade school, where I used to stay in from recess just to finish my stories about witches and magical rings–questioned this decision. And she said something that has stuck with me since, although I don’t remember the exact words.
My mom reminded me that my dream is writing. If this truly is my dream, I should not deviate or let anything get in my way of achieving it.
The last couple years have been crazy with getting married and moving to a new state. I’ve gone through some emotional ups and downs with work. I’ve tried starting a few blogs that were focused on things very different than what my true passions are. Even though I didn’t go back to school to get an M.A. degree in marketing, I did deviate a little. Although, some of the deviations have been the most rewarding parts of my life.
But now, I want to get back on track. I need to un-clutter my life of things that are just clutter. It’s like de-junking–I think of the TV show “Hoarders”.
Mind you, writing is not my only dream. I dream of a family and seeing Chef Scott open up his bakery one day, two big dreams that I will be very much apart of. But, I need to bring my dream back to the forefront.
I still have obligations. I still have to work and clean my house and wash the dishes and do laundry. And I’m, of course, going to take the time to have adventures (I need great experiences to help my writing). But the clutter will be gone and the overwhelming feelings will be obliterated. I will feel free because I will have simplified my dreams. And I will be writing, writing, writing, where my true passion lies.
Let the de-cluttering continue!